We all have begun the transition from enjoying our freedom to living within the confines of our home. In my psychotherapy practice, my clients report feelings of isolation, loneliness, and uncertainty. Many express exhaustion, which can be difficult to understand since our lives have become simplified and less structured in specific ways; we have adjusted to a new schedule. We New Yorkers are busy people, traveling the MTA system, scheduling appointments, meeting with our friends after work, caring for our families, and let's not forget maintaining the nightly workouts!
Speaking of workouts, Yoga is a big part of both my life and for some of my clients' lives. There is much to be learned not only from the poses but also from the philosophy. I am fortunate to have an Instructor who imparts wisdom in each of his classes. At the end of yoga class today, he told us to practice both repetition and Detachment during this crisis. The Bhagavad Gita recommends five stages to learn Detachment (learning how to let go).
Stage One: Acknowledgment. - Identify how we are feeling in our bodies. Acknowledge the feeling instead of pushing it away or only noticing the anxiety. Ask yourself what is beneath.
Stage Two: Self-Inquiry - Once you identify your feelings, it is time to connect with them through insight and send-reflection.
Stage Three: Processing - Question what works for you and what doesn't. Don't just look for answers, as processing isn't black or white thinking. It is more about the whole experience.
Stage Four: Creative Action - We can now figure out ways to make new meanings from old patterns and feelings. When we panic or feel stress, our ability to be creative diminishes, especially during times of crisis like now. Think of ways to break through paralysis from fear and find new skills that will serve you better.
Stage Five: Freedom - You know you have successfully detached when you contemplate what's occurring without immediately getting blindsided by strong feelings.
Now that we have successfully detached from our fears and anxieties, we can learn how repetition can serve us to lead more fruitful and productive lives. Repetition is a form of discipline because it requires us to do something many times despite how we attach feelings or meaning to it. Think about exercising. Some days, we embrace it, and other days when we are tired, it can become a dreadful practice that we may prefer to avoid. For us to see any kind of benefit to exercise, it is the repetition or discipline in us that makes us show up and do it despite our uncomfortable feelings. During this time, when we cannot see an end to social distancing, and we are living more solitary lives, repetition may serve us well. It will allow us to repeat the same routines day after day and find some creative ways to maintain optimism. Both Detachment and repetition can help us to get through this crisis and challenge us to find more creative and expressive ways to cope.
Namaste